Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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