420 ftw
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
