Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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