hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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