I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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