To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
