why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
