She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
