...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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