Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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