So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
