Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
