Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
