Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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