Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
