We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
