She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
