Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
