hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
