He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
