I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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