haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
