when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
