You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
