It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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