today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
