Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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