so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I checked into jail on foursquare
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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