Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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