if you like me you must not know who I am
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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