This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
