Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
God I need to hump something, right now.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
