the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
