Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Randomize
