Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
