speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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