She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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