Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
