i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
