I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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