so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
