i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
