We won't sleep together?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
