They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
