YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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