Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
