I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
