I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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