My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
