As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
